The journey of becoming a pregnant is beginning to ware on me...
I have been off my medications for about 5 months now. Although I do still have a lot of mobility, I am finding myself more fatigued. It's kind of hard to explain my emotion, I'll give it the 'ol college try!
I think many people will be surprised to read that I am not stressed that I am not pregnant. It would be great and that is the goal, but I do think that it will happen when it happens. I am getting annoyed of being tired and fatigued! I can feel my body craving medicine but I can't give into it even though I would love an injection of Humeria. To help curve the pain I am currently on prednisone and it is helping me get by. I'm ok with my currently dosage, however, I do NOT want to increase my dosage of prednison. (If you're someone who's been on it, you understand why...)
As I am writing this I am realizing that I am stressed, but not geared towards becoming pregnant but geared towards the physical state my body is feeling. So where do I go from here... I guess my plan is to remain positive and to be active. Which brings me to my next thought.
Exercise is a great way to relief stress and it helps me relief stress. I do it as often as I can but I need to find another outlet, I can't exercise everyday, and that's ok. So what can take it's place... shopping perhaps? I don't think my husband will like that idea, so I am open to suggestions!
2 Comments:
I know what it's like to wish you could get pregnant. I have been there myself. I had a hard time getting pregnant the first but was lucky enough to have one child before I was diagnosed with RA. As a matter of fact, it was the excess weight of my pregnancy (a whole 26 lbs)that started my downfall. It caused a dislocated knee cap (due to the way my bones grew crooked in my left leg). After that was fixed and was no longer the weakest joint, the disease hit all the other joints in one massive attack. I too, tried to get off all my meds so I could get pregnant again but it always seemed to cause a major flair up which ended up causing so much damage that I have had several surgeries to fix the damage and an increase in meds. After the flairs settle down, again tried to decrease the meds with no success. After several attempts and the Dr.'s advise I had to give up my dream of having a son. To look back now, I wish I would have kept trying or not have waited so long to start trying to get pregnant. We didn't want our children to close together, so we waited. Now it is too late. But I have realize that I am very lucky and very blessed, I have a daughter that is the world to me. She has become a very independent and self-sufficient 19 yr old young woman. She had to learn early that mom couldn't do a lot of things that other moms could, so she figured out how to do them herself with some guidance from me. She has never blamed me for not being able to do things with her. If we couldn't do something because RA wouldn't allow, we would find something that I could do. Instead of playing ball we would read, play a board game or just talk, which I believe has brought us closer together. We are not just mother/daughter. We are friends. She tells me all the things that one would tell their best friend.
You posted that you're stressed by your physical state and not by your state of mind and that exercise is your outlet. KEEP THAT UP, even a little bit is better than none. Exercise for me was hard. My RA is so severe that even a walk around the block can cause a flair. So my exercise consists of things that I can do from a chair. It does relieve some of my stress but my main stress reliever is reading. There's nothing like leaving reality & pain behind and losing one's self in a good book. My favorites are written by Linda Lael Miller and Dorothy Garlock. Both write about the old western days when life was so simple and easy and the love that one has for each other is so pure.
Perhaps, you could go to the elementary school near your home and read to the kids or volunteer in art class.
Go to a nursing home or a hospice house to read to them or just to talk . Let them tell you of the times of them growing up in era other than your own. Just a small visit can not only make you feel better, but makes the other person feel better knowing that someone cares since many of them have no one to come to visit.
Start a journal. Write down all your frustrations, let the stress go out thru your pen. They say that talking always helps. You, like me being married, Your husband isn't always home to talk to or he doesn't understand. Writing it down lets you get it all out without any disruptions or comments. You take control of the conversation, even if it is one sided. No one to disagree with you. If you don't want to take the chance of someone reading your private thoughts, tear the paper up after you finish writing it. Nothing feels better than ripping paper apart.
If it's meant to happen, it will. just keep the faith and think positive!!!
And remember, it takes 43 muscles to frown but it only takes 17 to smile and smiling always makes a person feel better, especially when it is returned.
I know what it's like to wish you could get pregnant. I have been there myself. I had a hard time getting pregnant the first but was lucky enough to have one child before I was diagnosed with RA. As a matter of fact, it was the excess weight of my pregnancy (a whole 26 lbs)that started my downfall. It caused a dislocated knee cap (due to the way my bones grew crooked in my left leg). After that was fixed and was no longer the weakest joint, the disease hit all the other joints in one massive attack. I too, tried to get off all my meds so I could get pregnant again but it always seemed to cause a major flair up which ended up causing so much damage that I have had several surgeries to fix the damage and an increase in meds. After the flairs settle down, again tried to decrease the meds with no success. After several attempts and the Dr.'s advise I had to give up my dream of having a son. To look back now, I wish I would have kept trying or not have waited so long to start trying to get pregnant. We didn't want our children to close together, so we waited. Now it is too late. But I have realize that I am very lucky and very blessed, I have a daughter that is the world to me. She has become a very independent and self-sufficient 19 yr old young woman. She had to learn early that mom couldn't do a lot of things that other moms could, so she figured out how to do them herself with some guidance from me. She has never blamed me for not being able to do things with her. If we couldn't do something because RA wouldn't allow, we would find something that I could do. Instead of playing ball we would read, play a board game or just talk, which I believe has brought us closer together. We are not just mother/daughter. We are friends. She tells me all the things that one would tell their best friend.
You posted that you're stressed by your physical state and not by your state of mind and that exercise is your outlet. KEEP THAT UP, even a little bit is better than none. Exercise for me was hard. My RA is so severe that even a walk around the block can cause a flair. So my exercise consists of things that I can do from a chair. It does relieve some of my stress but my main stress reliever is reading. There's nothing like leaving reality & pain behind and losing one's self in a good book. My favorites are written by Linda Lael Miller and Dorothy Garlock. Both write about the old western days when life was so simple and easy and the love that one has for each other is so pure.
Perhaps, you could go to the elementary school near your home and read to the kids or volunteer in art class.
Go to a nursing home or a hospice house to read to them or just to talk . Let them tell you of the times of them growing up in era other than your own. Just a small visit can not only make you feel better, but makes the other person feel better knowing that someone cares since many of them have no one to come to visit.
Start a journal. Write down all your frustrations, let the stress go out thru your pen. They say that talking always helps. You, like me being married, Your husband isn't always home to talk to or he doesn't understand. Writing it down lets you get it all out without any disruptions or comments. You take control of the conversation, even if it is one sided. No one to disagree with you. If you don't want to take the chance of someone reading your private thoughts, tear the paper up after you finish writing it. Nothing feels better than ripping paper apart.
If it's meant to happen, it will. just keep the faith and think positive!!!
And remember, it takes 43 muscles to frown but it only takes 17 to smile and smiling always makes a person feel better, especially when it is returned.
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