Losing My Independence

Growing up I was very independent. I knew what I wanted and I had the drive to accomplish it. It's a great feeling knowing that you are all you need. My RA has really hindered that feeling that I once had and craved. I understand that I will need assistances at times, and I'm ok with that (now). But finding the balance and knowing that I am still independent has been a struggle.

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband but something he does too much for me. When I ask him to let me do things on my own he gets it and sits back. But then I become lazy and ask for his help, where did my drive go!? Augh!

Doing little things around that house makes me feel so good, like I am a contributing wife and that I can provide for others and myself. Then after I do them I am proud of myself, as soon as my husband gets home I'm sure to tell him what I did--dorky I know! Still I feel that it's not enough.

It's hard losing your self unexpectedly. My favorite past time hobby is gone, the place I go to find strength is gone, where I once thrived with confidence is gone, where does that leave me? I've got to find a way to get my spunk back!